Dear Lou,
I have a friend who frequently plays open mics in the area, which is fine, if she were good. I go almost every time she plays for support, but I’m telling you she’s like Phoebe from “Friends” on crack. Last week she did a cover of "Hotline Bling..." acapella. Ear-splitting I tell you, ear-splitting. I’ve let her embarrassment go on too long. How do I tell her she’s not going to Hollywood without sounding like Simon Cowell?
Sincerely,
It’s a no for me.
Dear It’s a No For Me,
The overwhelming pain we feel in the pit of our stomach when someone is embarrassing themselves without knowing is one of the most difficult human emotions. Our inner struggle to tell them or not tell them can keep us up at night. We don’t want to seem unsupportive and, yet, we also want to be an honest friend. To save them from themselves. In this matter, I ask you to ask yourself, “Would I want someone to tell me?” I believe most would say, “yes,” which brings us to confrontation: A little bourbon never hurt anyone. Lubricating the situation slightly first might lessen the blow. Break it to her gently — like Paula Abdul — but be firm like Cowell. Telling someone they suck is different from suggesting a new hobby. We all can’t be good at everything, but luckily in this day and age there are plenty of options. So she’s not good at singing, has she tried the art of mime?
-Lou
Do you need advice from Lou? Please write Lou at dearlou502@gmail.com.
Illustration by Kendall Regan
