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    Bit to Do

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    On Thursday afternoon the staff visited the riverside land of turkey legs, elephant ears, lemon shake-ups, corn dogs, and funnel cakes. The land of guilty-pleasure foods, also known as the Chow Wagon. That’s right folks! Jump on the wagon and chow down, the Kentucky Derby Festival’s Chow Wagon is open and taking orders.
    The wagon’s open daily from 11:00 AM to 11:00 PM (Sunday 12:00 PM-11:00 PM) until Oaks Day! You need a Pegasus Pin to get in. Here's the lowdown on this year's deep-fried deliciousness.
    Katie (Staff Writer)
    With a spread of the finest of fair foods in front of me, I dipped my fingers into a bucket o' fries, pulled at dough-y funnel cake (sugar powdering my fingers and nose) and double-dipped my blooming onion until my belly hurt. I’m usually one to indulge in the “frier” things in life, but geez, Louise! the pink frosted and sprinkled birthday funnel cake was worth an exception. 
    There’s a certain connotation that comes along with gorging at the Chow Wagon, but honestly who gives a shit when there are foot-long corn dogs. Don’t lie to yourself, you want one or maybe even two. My only complaint was that everything I touched post-Chow Wagon meal was left with a residue of grease. Oh, and also I was a little disappointed there wasn’t even one wagon.
    Elizabeth (Editor in Chief)
    Remember that part in the old school Charlotte's Web cartoon when Templeton the Rat is released into the fairgrounds after hours, and he jubilantly sings an entire song about the carnival garbage he's stuffing down his gullet?


    Whenever I go to a fair, mud bog (don't judge, my husband's from Southern Indiana), car show or flea market, I basically become Templeton the rat. Maybe when the concentration of fry oil and airborne powdered sugar in the air gets to a certain point it triggers the release of my personal Hyde: a rampaging devourer of deep fried red velvet Oreos and foot-long corn dogs. As I walked down to the waterfront to visit the Chow Wagon this year, the possibility of my getting through Derby week without wearing a pair of Spanx wafted away in the potato-scented breeze. 
    A few observations: the ticketing system ($1 = 1 ticket) is definitely calculated to force you to buy more. Seating is ample but expect to pay to park. There's a big bar set up under the bridge, complete with giant wooden chandeliers. Drake's has a cool saloon-style bar set up. For the low, low price of $35 you can become the holder of this enchanted chalice: 
    And, if you need a nap after whatever you decide to eat or drink at the Chow Wagon, there is a hammock. But I've already claimed it. 
    Image: Michelle Eigenheer 
    Carly (Staff Writer)

    There's nothing quite like standing on the Great Lawn with a big plastic bucket full of freshly fried curly fries smothered in bright yellow nacho cheese, which is my personal favorite salty treat at the Wagon this year. Curly fry after curly fry, you start to wonder why you ever thought about dieting in the first place. You had so much fun gaining those few extra pounds last winter, why work so hard to lose them now? Chow Wagon is a reminder of how truly delicious life can be. 
    Michelle (Editor) 
    Ughh, my stomach hurts. Everything was fair food deliciousness, ten times better than you could ever replicate at home. I mean, there's something to be said for a corn dog that's being deep fried in the same grease that has deep fried hundreds of other corn dogs. But wear good shoes - the pilgrimage across downtown to the food mecca comes with a blistered price. 
    Cover Image: Michelle Eigenheer. Images within article: Elizabeth Myers
    Katie Molck's picture

    About Katie Molck

    Loretta Lynn is the best country music singer of all time and if you don't like pickled foods, you can leave.

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