I could simply tell you what the Louisville Bats are doing and how there season has been going, citing statistics and a whole lot of facts that give me a headache to calculate.
Or…
I could, in honor of the Bats go through some of the most ridiculous minor league baseball mascots of all time. As we all know, when it comes to goofy mascots nobody beats minor league baseball. Our city has been lucky and I think we should be grateful for this; Buddy Bat is an amiable and logical mascot. He makes sense and behaves quite professionally for a giant bat, before him, The Louisville Redbirds’ Redbird was another quality mascot that achieved a great deal of class during his time. So, as Louisville has been lucky we must feel pity upon the cities that haven’t been so lucky.
We first travel to upstate to meet Bernie of the Inland Empire 66ers. A Single-A team the 66ers mascot kind of resembles a bad version of a Chuck E. Cheese character.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Hootz and Holly of the Oream Owls. Their baseball headed birds? This is what children’s nightmares are made of.
Then we go on to Woolie of the Hagestown Suns. I don’t quite know what Woolie is, to be honest he doesn’t seem all that wooly to me and well he kind of seems like he’s been hit in the head with a frying pan one too many times. In addition, I’m not certain that he’s not an overgrown insect, either way I’d like him to stay away from me.
In Lansing, Michigan the Lansing Lugnuts reside and their mascot is really delightful. I don’t quite know if he’s a walrus, a seal, a dinosaur, a bear but I can safely say that he’s not a lugnut. Called Big Lug, he has lugnuts for nostrils. I would have liked to have been there for this mascot design meeting.
“Well Phil, what do you got. Something that relates to cars of some sort, we are the Lansing Lugnuts you know.”
“Yeah I know, Ralph so I designed a dinosaur like thing but I gave him lugnut nostrils, so that’s something.”
“Yes, yes, Phil it is.”
And Phil got a promotion.
You know they call Reno, Nevada the biggest little city. I don’t know if that’s true but the Reno Aces do have the biggest creepy mascot. His name’s Archie and I’m pretty sure the Ghostbusters have fought him at some point.
One might say that if you’re team name is the Biscuits you’re setting your mascot up for trouble; but Montgomery, Alabama proved that wrong with Big Mo. Unfortunately Mo don’t got no do for no biscuit, none the less I love this mascot. I’m not even being sarcastic I genuinely love Mo, I WANT MO! The justification for a team called the Biscuits (I could stop there) to have a giant red ant-eater thing as their mascot? Big Mo really likes biscuits; that’s it, that’s their justification!
I honestly don’t know what the problem with Boomer of the Williamsport Crosscutters is; I do know I want to go drinking with him though.
Buddy Bat can be seen during the Bats’ home stand series tonight though, against Columbus at 6:35. Sadly, as far as I know Big Mo’s gonna be a no show but a guy can dream. None the less, the Toledo Mudhen might be seen tomorrow at Slugger Field during the Bats’ four day series against the team, following that the Bats will continue with a home stand against Indianapolis, a series that concludes at Slugger on April 23rd.
I have to thank these sources for images and info:
Image courtesy of Flickr
