Photos by Mickie Winters
Web editor Dylon Jones loves rollercoasters. They terrify senior writer Anne Marshall. Who better to be the first people (other than Kentucky Kingdom employees) to ride the new Eye of the Storm? It’s a seven-story loop with a car on the interior that moves back and forth until it’s rocketing all the way around, full-circle. (Less thrilling, more nauseating.) But the Storm Chaser rollercoaster, full of twists and inversions? Well, let’s just say Jones learned a lot about Marshall’s lung capacity and propensity for profanity.
Read on for a recap in social media posts, emails, text messages and screams.
BEFORE
Dylon Jones: Y’all. Tomorrow I’m strapping into a new ride at KY Kingdom for a mag piece. 
DJ: Let’s check the forecast. Eye of the Storm doesn’t work in the rain.
Anne Marshall: Weather-dependent safety??!!! Already hyperventilating.
AM to her husband Casey Chalmers: In one hour I must go ride rollercoasters. If I die, make sure the children know how much I love them. Sue for lots of money and go live in a big Old Louisville mansion, take lots of fun vacations and make sure those rascals go to college. Love you, Anne.
DJ: Too bad none of the rides are bigger.
DURING
DJ: Open your eyes.
AM: Nope. No.
AM: Oh GOD!
DJ: Woo!
AM: Oh [expletive]! This is awful! [Expletive]! [Expletive]! Dyloooon!!!
DJ: (Laughing.)
AFTER
AM: Feel sick. But it was kinda fun?
Casey Chalmers: 
AM: I went twice on Storm Chaser! And it was God-awful terrifying.
CC: Holy moly. This is a revelation. Why’d you go twice?
AM: I have no idea. I cannot explain it.
AM: Dylon, I hope my shrill screams haven’t permanently damaged your hearing.
DJ: I was never in any danger with you. I had such a good time. 
AM: I did too. I’m still shocked at my double Storm Chaser routine.
DJ: It was just as I had hoped.
This originally appeared in the May 2017 issue of Louisville Magazine. To subscribe to Louisville Magazine, click here. To find your very own copy of Louisville Magazine, click here.
