So, while Louisville is too late to get into the bidding pool as the destination for the next two winter Olympic Games—2026 is still wide open. In the meantime, here are some sports at which Louisvillians would truly excel.
Pothole Slaloms
Get in car. Drive the expanse of I-64. Navigate innumerable potholes without tapping other drivers.
Spotter (shotgun passenger) optional.
Pairs Griping
Greet partner at the water-cooler with a sigh. Proceed to complain about the freezing temperatures.
Technical points awarded for length of the grumbling session, use of appropriate frustrated gestures and nonverbals, and inclusion of the phrase, “Well, you won’t hear me complaining about a scorching summer this year.”
Bourbon Biathlon
Take a shot of bourbon. Take another.
Snowmageddon Grocery Dash
Receive text notification of impending winter weather. Rush to the grocery store. Points awarded for number of milk gallons and bread loaves obtained. Timed portion begins once you hit the check-out line.
Roundabout Road Curling
Enter the Cherokee Triangle Roundabout. Take the first right without skidding on ice.
Synchronized Jaywalking
This sport is dominated by teenaged athletes who frequently train in the Bardstown Road area.
Simply ignore the crosswalk located a mere block away. Grab the hands of your teammates and run squealing into oncoming traffic. Hopefully reach the other side
Team uniform: Unseasonably short skirts and/or Hot Topic hoodies.
NuLu Stiletto Skating
Make plans in NuLu. Wear your highest heels despite the skinny sidewalks covered in snow.
Points awarded per yard you walk independently without slipping.
Points deducted if you fall into Market Street.
Photography courtesy of Shutterstock
