The information in this how-to is derived from the article, "Sympathetic Magic in the Kentucky Mountains: Some Curious Folk-Survivals" by Josiah Henry Combs in the "Journal of American Folk-Lore."
Tired of the mundane world? Need more enchantment in your life? Becoming a witch might be just what you need! While there are many methods to becoming a witch the following how-to follows the Eastern Kentucky practice.
What You’ll Need:
- A mountain
- Handkerchief
- Gun with silver bullets
Step 1:
Go to the summit of your chosen mountain before sunrise.
Step 2:
At first sunlight hurl a “trine anathema at Jehovah”. Basically just curse the hell out of him and accept the Devil as your new confidant.
Step 3:
Hold up your white handkerchief.
Step 4:
Shoot a silver bullet through your handkerchief and wait for blood to drip from it. If blood doesn’t not appear after 30 seconds, find a new mountain and repeat steps one through four. This time with more gusto.
Step 5:
Once blood appears consider yourself the new witch on the block.
Note: One will remain part of the dark art as long as he or she remains loyal to the Evil Spirit and denounces the Holy one.
What can you do now?
1. Metamorphosis
For making mischief more fun you can now transform into a black cat or a toad!
2. Turn People into Horses
A classic form of mischief. As a witch you now have the power to turn others into horses and “ride them all night” Lionel Richie style. The best part about this bewitching is that your victim’s horse-y state goes unnoticed. They may wake with complaints of soreness, but completely unaware they changed forms!
3. Use Your Witch Balls
Has your neighbor been cutting his grass at 2 a.m. again? Or maybe a coworker keeps eating your lunch out of the fridge. As a new member of the coven you can now take matters into your own hands. “Witch Balls” are composed of horse or cow hair tightly rolled between two hands. They function like bullets. Simply draw a picture of your pesky acquaintance on a tree and hurl your witching balls at them. Wherever the ball hits, the corresponding part of the victim is wounded.
Cover Photo by Vera Petruk/Shutterstock
