In our October issue, we asked our staff: What job (besides your current one) could you do really well?
Librarian — or anything that keeps me in close proximity to a book.
— Maya O. McKenzie, editorial intern
I’ve always joked that I’d drop everything to be a prop maker for Wes Anderson.
— Jenny Kiefer, associate writer
Baker, if I could figure out a healthy way to get out of bed extra early after habitually staying up late. I have a good understanding of kitchen science — how flavor enhancers, sweeteners, leaveners, oils, moisteners and varying ingredient amounts physically and chemically work. I enjoy greasing cookie sheets and pans, as well as transferring goods from oven to cooling racks. I love using butter and cream, chocolate and nuts, cinnamon and liqueurs, and baking with diced fruit (or, in quiches, bacon, onion and crabmeat). Working in a white T-shirt would be nice too.
— Jack Welch, copy editor
I’ve always been told that I should’ve become a chef. (My most popular dish is my mom’s recipe for eggrolls called lumpia Shanghai.) But I’ve also been told that I should’ve been a food stylist, which I could’ve been pretty good at and enjoyed more.
— Michelle Roeder, Louisville Tickets
For the past 10 or so years I have often found myself in troves of health research. Not, like, what Beyoncé happens to be eating. I’m talking about some hardcore NCBI studies. (Yes, the fact that I remember that acronym for the National Center for Biotechnology Information is weird.) What inhibits iron absorption? How much vitamin D is too much? I sometimes have to remind myself that so many factors contribute to good health and that scanning articles until my eyes burn is probably not one of them. And then I enter something like “phone screen” in the search box to see what effects that has on the body. My point is, I probably have enough basic understanding and genuine curiosity and passion to breeze through some type of medical or nutritional degree and help people find solutions to their ailments.
— Mary Chellis Nelson, managing editor
Social media editor. I’d go on Facebook and Twitter and tell people their posts are stupid, ill-advised or thoughtless repetitions of worn-out hoaxes. Nobody would like me.
Oh, wait.
— Jenni Laidman, writer at large
An agent in sports or in Hollywood. I get really aggressive when I’m fighting for other people.
— Mandy Wood, advertising account executive
Personal trainer or health coach. I enjoy creating workouts and nutrition plans to help people achieve their goals and become happier.
— Dahlen Mitzali, editorial intern
I’m not one of those people who watches sports and loudly proclaims, “Even I could do that!” when someone messes up a play, but…sometimes while watching the Cubs, I can’t help but think I might make a pretty good manager. I mean, come on, how is it a good idea to let your best relief pitcher come up to bat in the top of the 10th inning with the bases loaded, one out and a one-run lead in what has been a very tight, dramatic game? Spoiler alert: He hit into a double play and hurt himself running to first base. Love ya, Joe, but I just don’t get that move.
— Alexandra Winters, assistant web editor
I’ve always thought I would be working with animals in some way, and I suppose I do as a photographer. I also have seen myself as a florist, pilot or person who comes up with clever sayings for marketing campaigns. A dream job would be making wild music videos with endless budgets.
— Mickie Winters, photographer
Writing and directing films. I made a lot of home movies as a kid (shout-out to my sister, Kristi, for starring in every one) and took some screenwriting classes in college. I grew up in a country town with a lot of substance abuse, and I love gritty, rural films that explore real-life issues like drugs, love and mental illness. I have three or four movies I’ve been writing (mostly in my head) over the years. One loose plot is about a young, successful woman who decides to move back to her small town to take care of her mother with dementia.
— Katie Molck, contributing writer
I’m glad I married a nice guy. I love being a mom. BUT: I think I could’ve been a great nun. Not the cloistered, habit-wearing variety, but the social-justice type who commits to hard, meaningful work.
Exhibit A: I’ve always liked attending church. Even as a teenager! When I got my driver’s license, I drove myself to Sunday mass, long after the rest of the family had vacated the pews unless it was Christmas or Easter.
Exhibit B: Rooming with a bunch of well-read spiritual women who want to make the world a more equitable, loving place sounds like mighty fine living to me, especially in this day and age.
Exhibit C: I come equipped with loads of guilt and humility.
Exhibit D: I daydreamed about the convent so much that one of my best friends in middle school made me a “Sister Anne” T-shirt with puffy paint.
— Anne Marshall, senior writer
This originally appeared in the October 2018 issue of Louisville Magazine as the Inter-Office Memo. To subscribe to Louisville Magazine, click here. To find us on newsstands, click here.
Cover photo: Pexels.com
