When I was ten years old, my family and I went horseback riding in the Smoky Mountains. The gentle, dark brown horse I rode was named Chestnut and I fell in love with him. How could anyone resist big, cuddly Chestnut?
When it comes to race horses, their names are tailored to appeal not to ten-year-olds; but to gamblers with money to blow and people searching for their lucky break. No one can resist placing their money on a fast, muscular horse with an intriguingly mysterious phrase for a name.
So considering the horses participating in this year’s Oaks and Kentucky Derby [4], here are our choices based on names alone.
Our Picks for Oaks:
Image: Pinterest [5]
Weep No More, #5
Perhaps the owner of this horse chose this name as a shortened version of Weep No More About losing Money on Horse Races. Also, with a name straight from “My Old Kentucky Home,” this horse clearly must be Kentucky Proud, and we love that.
Royal Obsession, #10
If the Royal family attends the Oaks this year, this is surely the horse they’ll bet on, so we’ll follow their example.
Go Maggie Go, #6
We love this name because it tells us exactly what to shout during the race. “Go Maggie, go!” But then again, wouldn’t it be “Go Go Maggie Go, go….?”
Dream Dance, #11
In the spirit of payoff pipe dreams and drunken revelry...we love this name.
Northwest Tale, #21
Any horse named after Kim and Kanye’s daughter is a winner in our book.
Our Picks for Derby:
Image: Euclid Public Library [6]
Suddenbreakingnews, #12
We’d love for this horse to win because we’d love to run a story titled “Sudden Breaking News! Suddenbreakingnews Has Won the Derby!”
Dazzling Gem, #24
Shine bright like a diamond.
Cherry Wine, #25
Of course we’re going to root for the horse named after one of our favorite beverages.
Oscar Nominated, #13
Leonardo DiCaprio was also Oscar-nominated this year, and this year he won. We're taking that as a sign.
Lani, #7
Wouldn’t it be nice for a horse with an average human name to win the Derby for once?
Check out the complete list of horses running in the 2016 Oaks and Derby here [4].
Image: Euclid Public Library [6]