I don't really have much to say about the Breeder's Cup this year. I can't say I'd have much to say about it any year. That means that anything I write is bound to come off as ridiculous and/or forced. So, I might as well go all out. Here's a ridiculous list of 21 things you probably won't see at the Breeder's Cup this year:
Cockfighting..because it's illegal.
Snoop Dogg…because he's bizzle for rizzle.
PETA members at the betting windows.
The gays..cause it's for breeders…Duh.
People preparing for the zombie apocalypse -because of a forest survival skills workshop [4]
[4]
Smurfs..because they're boycotting.
Gargamel..because there are no smurfs.
Mister Ed…because he was actually euthanized in 1970
Water historians…the Frazier International History museum is offering a workshop to learn about the 150 year history of the Louiville water company. [5]
Hippophobes - google it up.
Storm Troopers…because they're out of season.
Tweens - They're too busy shopping for the perfect thing to wear to the Justin Bieber concert. [6]
Partridge Family idol David Cassidy - he was arrested for drunk driving last night.
This guy: because he's too busy being a badass…way to squash crime! [7]
Bikini's in the infield…it's November.
Hair band groupies..they'll be too busy getting ready to try to win Bret Michaels passes that night [8]
Snoopy - NO DOGS ALLOWED.
Edgar Allen Poe…because he's dead.
Carnies.. .because..it's reallly just a whole 'nother scene, isn't it?
Me, but I still had to write this article.
Now, list something you think most probably won't be seen at Breeders' Cup for a chance to win: my respect.
Bonus chance to win my respect: Guess which word I added to this article to surpass the word count threshhold and get paid twice as much.