I'm not saying I'd turn down free tickets these acts. I'd accept them.
And then I'd promptly run the tickets through my paper shredder--twice--to save someone from making an awful mistake.
Journey and Heart
Freedom Hall
Aug. 21, 8 p.m.
Journey by itself might merit a ticket. (My wife and I had the DJ play Journey at our wedding. Twice.) But add Heart to the bill and this show's appeal plummets to the floor faster than Rick Pitino's assistant after hours at Porcini's. "Barracuda" is the worst rock song that gets regular radio play. Boom diddy, boom diddy, boom diddy, boom diddy, boom diddy, boom diddy, boom diddy, barr-a-cud-a!. Tickets start at $50 [4], which is about $75 too much.
Sister Hazel
4th Street Live!
Aug. 28, 8 p.m.
Before I started this article, I knew I'd be slamming one of those one-hit 90s bands, I just wasn't sure which of 'em was coming to town. Congrats Sister Hazel, the honor goes to you. "Just can't turn and walk away"? Tickets are free, which might seem cool until you realize your tax dollars probably subsidized the show.
Badfish--Tribute to Sublime
Jim Porter's Good Time Emporium
Sept. 17, 8 p.m.
Yes, you read that right. There's such a thing as a Sublime tribute band. If a music act as bad as Sublime merits a tribute band, so does William Hung. Tickets are $15 in advance and $18 at the door [5], which is a surprise as I can't imagine a Sublime tribute band playing for anything more than canned goods.
For more information: Interested in music that doesn't suck? Check out Hambone.
(Photo: Flickr/Justin Marty [6])